Learning Life’s Lessons on the Web

I was setting here listening to some old school music and thinking about what next to write on my blog concerning technology and education.  Then it darned on me that the education to be learned does not always happen in the classroom but extends to life lessons as well.  What appears to be right or correct on the internet is not always so.  As we learn new tools and communicate with those around the world while setting in our home, we must be careful not to fall for the many cons and scams out there.  When the wide world web was developed, it was started to be a useful tool, but in all cases, you would have those who would find a sinister way of using it. 

Just last month I received a friend request on facebook.  The person said he was a 42 year old Caucasian who was looking for someone with the same name as mine and was directed to me and was intrigued by my picture that he had to send me the request.  I accepted his request. He was an American citizen working in Africa.  He was of Irish decent.  He asked me how I felt about interracial relationship and being involved with someone younger than I.  Truly, I have no problem with either.  I just would not date anyone in their 20’s or 30’s.  I have to draw the line somewhere! 

 After about a week of communicating back and forth, he declared his love for me.  He said he had been hurt so many times and was so taken with my words that I had captures his heart.  I am a very suspicious person but I was enjoying our conversation so I went along with him.  He even had his “cousin” and “son” contact me and wanted me to tell my family about him.  I decided to just tell my daughter.  She said he did not set right with her spirit and ran him off.  She thought I was mad at her, but I assured her that I was not, but just wanted him to show his hand. 

I said oh well, that is the end of that, but I was wrong.  He had his “cousin” to contact me and “get us back together.”  While I was chatting with her, it took all of me to not tell her what I really thought.  Sometimes I can be a good actress.  It was not long after that that he asked me to go to yahoo to chat.  Then all of a sudden he informed me that he was so sad.  Yes, I took the bait.   He said that he had not known it would cost so much to use the internet to communicate with me.  He needed $300 to keep it on and would not get his money until he get back to the states.  He wanted me to give him the money either out of my pocket or borrow it.  Now, I wanted to ask “Do you think I am crazy?  I enjoy talking to you, but not that much,” but I was very sympathetic and told him that I did not have it, could not borrow it and would help him if I could.”  He was very upset that I had disappointed him. 

He did not give up.  He found a way to keep his internet on and said he was so glad because communicating with me made him feel as if he was still at home.  The next problem he had was that his cheque, which he said was different than a check, for the job was going to be sent to his account here in the states.  He said his son had excess to it and would just use it all up.  He had informed those he was working for that he now had a wife, me, in the states and wanted her to receive it.  I told him that I could not possibly receive his cheque.  I even turned the table and ask him did he know that he could trust me.  I told him that I would open it to see if the amount was right.  He asks how I would know that it was right.  I informed him that he had told me it was $450,000.  I guess he found something else to do because I did not receive the cheque.

The last thing he tried was asking me to help him with a young man who had just lost both of his parents.  The man’s father had been a good friend of his.  The man was only 17 and he did not want to leave him in Nigeria alone.  He wanted information on visa, world documents and colleges here.  He wanted me to use FedEx instead of regular mail or emailing them or links to the sites.  He said he was computer illiterate.  Do you know how much it cost to send something overseas by FedEx?  If he had talked to my daughter, she would have told him that my middle name is “le cheap old.”  I had to tell him again that I was poor, broke and did not have any money.  That brought out his true colors.  I was useless because I had nothing to give him.  Where did all the love go?   He quickly moved on.  But that is what really bothers me.  Not everyone he reaches out to will see the truth and he uses your emotions and feelings and that makes him the worse kind of predatory.   He not only robs you of your money, but breaks your heart too. 

So, what should you look for?

1.        Declaration of love within a very short time.

2.       You are the most beautiful person and very sexy.

3.       He claims to be a US citizen, but is working overseas.

4.       His spelling is not good.

5.       After a while, he ask that you move to another site to chat

6.       If he has friends or relatives, they may all spell the same words wrong or use same manner of speech, because they are probably him using different names.  i.e., “cos” for “because” or “late” for “dead”

7.       He will ask you for money. 

8.       Sometimes the person may be of the opposite sex than what he/she is portraying.

He had pictures of himself on facebook, but I am not sure if they were of him. One of the pictures looked so familiar to me and when I asked him about it he said it was his brother who had lived in New York at one time and who was around my age.  I still do not know where I had seen that picture before.  He has since dismantled them.   

I reported him, but there is not much the authorities can do.  We just have to be careful about who and what we believe about what others say on the internet.  If something sounds too good to be true, usually it is! 

I wish I could have done more and stopped him completely because I know he has moved on to someone else to try the same thing.  I can only pray that she too sees through him before losing anything to him.  

Then I had to ask myself these questions.   What did he see in me that made him think that I would be an easy mark?  Did he see my insecurities?   Did I look vulnerable, desperate or what?  Did I give too much information about my education and he assumed I had money because of it?  So, we need to be careful of how we portray ourselves on the internet.